i never write here.
but something happened that is so huge.. that it can’t be contained in my personal journal. it’s bigger than that. and i want to let it out.
so, here’s my most recent journal entry (mildly edited):
“When I went job hunting yesterday I made a quick stop by the 4H Extension Office. They weren’t hiring, but I grabbed some fliers and propaganda for mom. She woke me up this morning and mentioned that one of the fliers advertised a free seminar today on Shiitake mushroom inoculation and to be ready to leave, with power drill in hand, by 11:45. We watched a video, learned the steps, and then we were handed two four foot logs. We drilled holes in them and used rubber mallets to pound these little pegs full of Shiitake spawn into the holes. We covered them with wax and brought them home. As of right now, they’re soaking in the bathtub.
While working and laughing alongside my mom, I was reminded of how much I loved studying the Fungi chapter of my Biology book back in eighth grade. I remembered how fascinated I was with every mushroom we discovered while backpacking. I particularly remember an outcropping of slimy little lavender colored mushrooms at the root of an evergreen stand.
I loved them. And today - I loved it so much. It’s the happiest I’ve been since moving to Kentucky. I was actively participating in the growth of a living thing. And I started to realize something about myself. I like being invested in the life cycle.
I’ve always thought it odd that the two majors I’m torn between, Biology and Child Development, have nothing in common. But they do! Some internal part of me yearns to grow things. Whether it’s mushroom spawn in a rotting log or a baby in my belly. I want to come to the assistance of life. I want to be educated in it so that I can help, but not so jaded that I don’t learn from the process. I want to grow things. I want to grow carrots from seed. I want to grow and butcher the meat I consume. I want to grow the minds of young ones. I want to be a part of every step so that I can come to a full respect of life.
This morning when I woke up I didn’t expect to spend the day becoming more acquainted with my spirit. I guess that’s what happens when you place your life at the mercy of prayer and power tools.”
