musings of a coffee ragamuffin.: "The Ghost Of Rockschool", by Belle and Sebastian. →
There is pure lyrical beauty in recorded form right here. Enjoy.
I’ve seen God in the sun
I’ve seen God in the street
God before bed and the promise of sleep
God in my dreams
And the free ride of grace
But it all disappears and then I wake up
Was it too late?
Was it just your fate?
…
Picking A Major
I stress over decisions. Especially big decisions. I put them off. I dread them. I make them bigger than they need to be. Picking a major was no different.
I tried on a few different majors for size. Marine Biology seemed like a pipe dream, English was too subjective, Child Development made me hate “the system” more than ever. I’m a person with varied interests and skills, so it felt like there was no clear choice for me. But credits were adding up and I knew I had to make a decision soon. Soon as in - now.
I’m not a pros and cons list kind of person. I don’t have a dream career. I’m a free spirited bookworm who dances in the kitchen and harbors a fascination with life. I knew that half of the answer was within me and the other half of the answer was out there somewhere… I just had to get them together.
So I began The List.
The list of everything that I am. Everything I love, everything that has made me happy, everything that has challenged me.
I’ve already attended six-ish semesters of college so I started with some of my Favorite Classes: American Lit, Intro to Education, Marriage & Family Relations and Biology 101&102 all made the cut.
Since American Lit was a favorite it’s obvious that I love to read. However, there’s a difference between weekend reads and those books that I become connected to and intertwined with. These made it onto the list of my Favorite Books: Animal Vegetable Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver, Between a Rock and a Hard Place by Aron Ralston, Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson, etc.
A list of my Favorite Activities followed: backpacking, kayaking, camping, dancing, cooking, adventuring, researching, sewing, being wildly and upriotously in love with deciduous trees.
So far the lists are pretty easy and universal. Most people can identify their favorite classes, books or activities. (I’d like to mention before continuing that “favorite” is a word I should probably replace with: Most mind altering, most influential, most challenging, most rewarding. For ease, I’ll continue to use favorite, just be aware of my true meaning.) Moving from there, I started to focus on more personal parts of my experience. I listed favorite people I’ve associated with, favorite scriptures, favorite experiences - such as my shiitake mushroom experience detailed in a previous post. Intermittently, I included words or phrases that seemed to resonate with myself and my goal. Mine included, “create home,” “come to the assistance of life,” “infinitely creative,” “plan of happiness,” “it doesn’t matter what you do but how you do it”, centered, aware, transform, grow, challenge and stretch.
Looking over those words and phrases one always seemed to stick out - Plan of Happiness. We’re here on this earth to have joy. If our purpose is meant to align with the purpose of our Creator (to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man) then wouldn’t the experiences that bring us the most joy also be those that best serve the purposes of God?
At this point things just started falling together. I had gathered information, I was starting to make connections and see patterns, and I felt energized.
Time for work - Part 2 soon?
i never write here.
but something happened that is so huge.. that it can’t be contained in my personal journal. it’s bigger than that. and i want to let it out.
so, here’s my most recent journal entry (mildly edited):
“When I went job hunting yesterday I made a quick stop by the 4H Extension Office. They weren’t hiring, but I grabbed some fliers and propaganda for mom. She woke me up this morning and mentioned that one of the fliers advertised a free seminar today on Shiitake mushroom inoculation and to be ready to leave, with power drill in hand, by 11:45. We watched a video, learned the steps, and then we were handed two four foot logs. We drilled holes in them and used rubber mallets to pound these little pegs full of Shiitake spawn into the holes. We covered them with wax and brought them home. As of right now, they’re soaking in the bathtub.
While working and laughing alongside my mom, I was reminded of how much I loved studying the Fungi chapter of my Biology book back in eighth grade. I remembered how fascinated I was with every mushroom we discovered while backpacking. I particularly remember an outcropping of slimy little lavender colored mushrooms at the root of an evergreen stand.
I loved them. And today - I loved it so much. It’s the happiest I’ve been since moving to Kentucky. I was actively participating in the growth of a living thing. And I started to realize something about myself. I like being invested in the life cycle.
I’ve always thought it odd that the two majors I’m torn between, Biology and Child Development, have nothing in common. But they do! Some internal part of me yearns to grow things. Whether it’s mushroom spawn in a rotting log or a baby in my belly. I want to come to the assistance of life. I want to be educated in it so that I can help, but not so jaded that I don’t learn from the process. I want to grow things. I want to grow carrots from seed. I want to grow and butcher the meat I consume. I want to grow the minds of young ones. I want to be a part of every step so that I can come to a full respect of life.
This morning when I woke up I didn’t expect to spend the day becoming more acquainted with my spirit. I guess that’s what happens when you place your life at the mercy of prayer and power tools.”
Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.
— William Wordsworth
so catchy.
everywhere at once.
i met a stranger last night who inadvertently convinced me to start a blog.
and now, because i’ve done this thing,
and i can’t think of what to start with,
i’m going to ramble on about some of my recent musings.
do bear with me.
firstly,
omnipresent:
being present everywhere at once.
while i was ambling aimlessly around downtown blacksburg yesterday, i thought about the times when i’ve recognized the omnipresence of God. my thoughts led my heart to the candlelight vigils held at Virginia Tech for the memory of those students who lost their lives. it seems to me that God is present in every flame, every heart, and every tear. each flame illuminates the coexsisting divinity and humanity of each tear. God is everywhere, expressing his love.
as my consciousness wandered on, i found myself taking wearied steps on the Appalachian Trail. climbing every mountain and fording every stream is not so simple as it sounds. but there’s something very sacred about reaching the peak of a mountain. sore legs and lungs grasping for air have a very humbling effect, and make the views from mountaintops ever more poignant. 
from a view like this, i can feel God in the air. he is everywhere here, expressing his love.
don’t we live in a beautiful world?
